my dreams of late
are filled with fear
with betrayal
with broken hearts
with death
they are nightmares
of
course
they don't only happen when asleep though
even as I open my eyes
I am in them
still
in the midst of modeh ani
I am in them
still
friends
family
lovers
colleagues
neighbors
all betrayed
all betraying
blood
running
thru the streets
trapped
everywhere I turn
friendly faces of old
I see
for a little bit of
reassurance
friendly faces of old
I see
but betrayed
yet again
the angst of these past weeks
I don’t know how to express
waiting for a somatic messiah
to let it all
out
but they don’t come
there is no messiah to redeem
the duality of a messiah and god never sat with me
if it’s all the same
where is our redemption?
where
is
mine?
the disappointment
the pain
the emptiness
the breathless breaths
of being
let down
of being
forgotten
of being
abandoned
i just want
to be
me
us
amongst the waves
the trees
the wind
to be of the world
and
in the world
please
just release the pain
allow us to experience it
without
judgement
without
permanent harm
let us be
let me
be
let there be
peace
may the one
who brings
peace
to the universe
bring peace
to us
and to all the world
